Andrew G Marshall, feels that we may be trying too hard to show we’re in the “perfect relationship”.
He suggests that these superstitions take place, in part, in the wedding day, where some couples will spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on everything from the “perfect” dress to the “perfect” location.
“They think: ‘if I’ve said it in front of all my family and friends, and on Instagram, I’ve got to get the marriage right,’” Marshall told The Independent.
In July 2015, University of Utah researcher Nicholas Wolfinger announced that he had found the optimal age range for a lasting marriage, after looking at data published by the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) from 2006-2010.
Wolfinger, an adjunct professor of sociology at the university, claimed that the likelihood of divorce was lowest when a couple married between the ages of 28 and 32. “The odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties,” Wolfinger wrote.
And Marshall believes that “I think the best age to get married is when you’re both ready and want to do it.”
“Marriage is a wonderful institution. Because living together is a private arrangement, whereas getting married is a public one: it brings your partner into your family, and provides them with more loving support.
“It also makes you think twice before you separate, and that’s generally a good thing. We choose people for a reason, and that reason is normally growth. And growth involves conflict, which we’re often terrified of, but actually it’s really good for us.”
He suggests that couples often get caught up in the cliché of “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”, because they suppress their differences.
Social media – a poison for relationships?
Marshall feels social media is a “complete and utter disaster” for modern relationships.
He says 10 years ago, no one he spoke with complained about how their partner was “always on their phone” or “always on Facebook”.
Now, such statements are an order of the day, he added.