How Princess Diana broke Royal rules for Palace employees

Princess Diana challenged the rigid British monarchy’s traditions. Her influence went beyond her public appearances to the extent of changing how life was within Kensington Palace.

Traditional royal residences were based on a rigid hierarchy between the Royal Family and their staff. Princess Diana challenged this by implementing practices to ensure domestic staff felt valued, included, and treated as peers.

Changing Surnames to First Names

In traditional Royal Protocol, staff are referred to by their surnames or formal titles to provide distinction between the royals and their employers. This tradition, however, was actively countered by Princess Diana during her time at Kensington Palace.

Ken Wharfe, former Royal Protection Officer, revealed how she insisted on the informal address of all individuals on her staff:

“Whereas in the tradition sense, they would be addressed by their surnames – Diana insisted that all the staff were called by their first names. That wasn’t so normal with regard to the household.”

This resulted in a warm, family-orientated environment in Kensington Palace (Apartments 8 & 9) in contrast to other formal royal estates.

These informal manners also extended into how Diana raised Prince William and Prince Harry. She aimed to prevent her young princes from having a too-formal experience around her family.

Wharfe shared a particular story in which the princes’ nanny invited Wharfe to their rooms for a pillow fight with William and Harry.

Unexpected Encounter: Whilst playfully bombarded with cushions from both princes, Wharfe was surprised to find the Prince of Wales (now King Charles III) had walked in, watching from the door way.

Reaction from the Prince: Embarrassed Wharfe expressed his apologies, “I’m terribly sorry about this, Your Royal Highness”.

The response from the Prince of Wales: In his humorous response, Charles smiled and stated, “I hope they’re not beating you up.”

Despite her comfortable, playful style in the palace, Diana maintained strong expectations on manners. Wharfe mentioned that every time the princes disrespectfully spoke to a staff member, Diana would quickly interfere and send the children off to make formal apologies, in an attempt to impress upon them the respect owed to all members of staff in the palace.

Protocol changes: Diana changed the tradition of formal surname addressing to addressing all staff by their first names.

Palace atmosphere: According to former bodyguard Ken Wharfe, Kensington Palace at the time the princess lived there felt like a “real sense of normal family life.”

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Motherhood style: Diana ensured she allowed playful behaviour from her children whilst strictly teaching them manners and how to respect their staff.