Actor Saheefa Jabbar Khattak opened up on her mental health struggles in a series of Instagram stories.
In a series of text stories on the photo and video-sharing application, the ‘Bhool’ star bravely put out her current mental state and dark thoughts, followed by the grief she is going through in life due to the same.
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“Yes, I have not been myself lately which is very difficult for me to accept here. I may or may not know what has exactly happened but it is definitely something I cannot talk about without crying my lungs out,” she began to acknowledge.
“I am in pain, I am grieving, every day is a struggle for me. Yes, I am hopeless. Yes, I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is all dark and gloomy for me. Yes, every day I wish death upon myself.”
Continuing with her ordeal, Jabbar noted, “In past 60 days there has not been a single day when I haven’t cried or simply questioned everything. In the process of this pain and grief, I have lost 12 kg. It has been simply impossible for me to eat and I have kept myself heavily sedated so I could sleep off the pain. My family has been constantly trying to help me with it but I guess it is my battle to fight (alone) and I have to fight my demons myself. No one can come and take away my pain for me.”
Hinting at the suicidal thoughts further, the actor spoke about the lack and need for empathy in the current times that world is living in when material pleasures are likened to happiness and peace. She penned, “I was just telling a friend (over a voice note) that I have been leaving small hints behind to let the world know (if in the process I take my life away), world needs to become a kinder place. I see no empathy and it kills me how everything has become a medium to mint money one way or another.”
“Also, everyone must be thinking I have everything (material), what in the world can bring her pain or distress? I tell you what, I am typing all of this from a very fancy hotel in Dubai while laying on a very comfortable bed and I am still in unexplainable pain. I want everyone to know who is reading this, having a nice car or a house or being able to afford anything or everything can not always assure you happiness.”
“It (might) bring you ease but your true home is your soul and soul needs its very own kind of food. Our soul doesn’t need money, fame or a sexy car. Our soul needs love, empathy and taken well care of,” Jabbar reflected.
“I don’t know what future holds and obviously, I haven’t seen the afterlife either (yet) but my belief tells me whatever there is, is in the present and in my present I want to be happy, content and feel fulfilled. I want to be healed.”
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Concluding the note, the celebrity reminded herself that ‘life is too precious to give up on’ before she acknowledged and thanked everyone who checked up on her during the tough times and wished for her recovery. “People like you are making this world a livable place. I deeply appreciate each and every one of you for pouring in your Love.”
Moreover, Jabbar expressed gratitude towards her husband for sticking by her and handling the situation all by himself. “I know you feel helpless and it is terrible and I understand that. Khizer, I don’t know what good I have done in my life to deserve a support system like you,” she concluded.
