'Felt very small': Lily Collins reflects upon trauma of toxic relationships
- By Web Desk -
- Feb 09, 2023
‘Emily in Paris’ star Lily Collins spoke about her traumas from a toxic, abusive relationship in the past.
In her recent outing at a podcast ‘We Can Do Hard Things’, Collins looked back at a ‘toxic’ relationship during her ‘early 20s’ and the ‘abuse’ she endured at the hands of an ex-boyfriend.
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Speaking of the ‘romantic toxic relationship’, Collins shared with co-hosts Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle, and Abby Wambach that she was subjected to ‘verbal and emotional’ abuse and was made ‘to feel very small’.
The actor revealed, “He would call me ‘Little Lily. You should be Little Lily’, and he’d use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a whore and all these things.”
Collins further added that the ‘belittling words’ by her ex got to the point which made her “quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe.” She also suffered from an eating disorder due to the same relationship and would have feelings of ‘panic and anxiety’ around the person.
Collins continued to divulge that even after all those years, despite a healthy marriage, she still feels ‘triggered’.
She explained, “Even if I’m in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that.”
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“It’s like a millisecond, or shorter than a millisecond and your gut reacts, your heart starts beating, and all of a sudden you’re taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you’re not in that situation now and that’s the trigger and it’s awful,” she concluded.
For the unversed, Collins tied the knot with film director Charlie McDowell in 2021.